Category: Military Jokes
Short Military Jokes
A soldier cradled the dying General Custer in his arms at the Little Big Horn.
Custer gasped: "I'll never understand Indians. A few minutes ago they were singing and dancing..."
The recruit complained to the sergeant that he'd got a splinter in his finger.
"Ye should have more sinse," was the harsh comment, "than to scratch your head."
How can there be such things as peace-keeping missiles?
A knight walked into a blacksmith's shop. The blacksmith said: "You've got mail."
When a knight in armour was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave? - Rust in peace.
What soldiers smell of salt and pepper? - Seasoned troopers.
A drill sergeant at training camp told his recruits: "Today, I have good news and bad news. First the good news: Private Morgan will be setting the pace on the morning sun."
The men were overjoyed because Morgan was fat and slow. Then the drill sergeant added: "Now the bad news: Private Morgan will be riding a motorcycle."
Trying out a new army computer, an officer typed in a question: "How far is it from the mess room to the sentry box?"
The computer replied: "Six hundred."
The officer typed: "Six hundred what?"
The computer replied: "Six hundred, sir!"
An American tourist went to Portsmouth to see Nelson's flagship HMS Victory. On the tour of the ship, the guide pointed out a raised brass plaque on the deck.
"That's where Nelson fell," said the guide.
The tourist was unimpressed. "I nearly tripped on the thing myself."