Category: Men Jokes
 

      He says: "You deserved someone better than me."
      He means: "I've found someone better than you."
      
      He says: "Is that a new dress?"
      He means: "I've taped over your only copy of Sliding Doors."
      
      He says: "It's probably my fault."
      He means: "It's definitely my fault but there's no way I'm going to apologise and the football's about to start."
      
      He says: "Football's finished."
      He means: "get 'em off!"
      
      He says: "We all need our own space."
      He means: "I'm up to something."
      
      He says: "What's wrong?"
      He means: "What meaningless, self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?"
      
      He says: "I love you too."
      He means: "There, I've said it. Now can we get on with the sex."
      
      He says: "It'd take too long to explain."
      He means: "I've no idea how it works."
      
      He says: "Take a break, love -- you're working too hard."
      He means: "I can't hear the TV over the vacuum cleaner."
      
      He says: "I really want to get to know you better."
      He means: "So I can tell my friends about it."
      
      He says: "I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
      He means: "I hope I think of some pretty soon."
      
      He says: "I can't find it."
      He means: "It didn't fall into my hands, so I'm completely clueless."
      
      He says: "No reason at all -- I just remembered how much you like flowers."
      He means: "Forgive me, partner, for I have sinned."
      
      He says: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."
      He means: "You're the only girl who hasn't rejected me."
      
      He says: "Let's not bother with potatoes.
      He means: "I can't find the user instructions for the potato peeler.'
      
      He says: "I'm a romantic."
      He means: "I'm poor."
      
      He says: "You look terrific."
      He means: "Please don't try on any more outfits - I'm dying for a pint."
      
      He says: "There's only one cookie left."
      He means: "What are you going to have?"
      
      He says: "Do you need a hand with dinner?"
      He means: "Why the hell isn't it on the table yet?"
      
      He says: "Of course I'm listening."
      He means: "What did you just say?"
      
      He says: I"ll give you a call."
      He means: "I'd rather have my arm ripped off by wild dogs than see you again."
      
      He says: "I've been thinking a lot."
      He means: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."
      
      He says: "I'm hungry."
      He means: "Fix me something to eat."
      
      He says: "Of course your bum doesn't look big in that."
      He means: "Get out of the way, I can't see the screen."
      
      He says: "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
      He means: "No-one will ever see us alive again!"