Category: Baby Jokes
 

      AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has given birth to have sex again.
      
      BOTTLE FEEDING: An opportunity for Dad to get up at 2 a.m. too.
      
      CARPET: Expensive floor covering used to catch spills and clean mud off shoes.
      
      DATE: Infrequent outings with Dad where Mum can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.
      
      DRINKING GLASS: Any carton or bottle left open in the fridge.
      
      EAR: A place where kids store dirt.
      
      EAT: What kids do between meals, but not at them.
      
      FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to stop you falling into financial disaster.
      
      FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate strained carrots.
      
      GRANDPARENTS: People who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
      
      HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a rude word.
      
      IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labour is still vivid.
      
      INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
      
      PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.
      
      PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: A contradiction in terms.
      
      PUDDLE: A small boy of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.
      
      SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.
      
      STERILISE: What you do to your first baby's dummy by boiling it and to your last baby's dummy by blowing on it.
      
      TEMPER TANTRUMS: What you should keep to a minimum so as not to upset the children.
      
      THUNDERSTORM: A chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.
      
      TWO-MINUTE WARNING: When a baby's face turns red and he or she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
      
      WEAKER SEX: The kind you have after the kids have exhausted you.
      
      WHOOPS: Get a sponge!