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 You're here: oChristian.com » Christian Jokes » Baby Jokes » Parents Dictionary

Category: Baby Jokes

  Parents Dictionary  


      AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has given birth to have sex again.
      BOTTLE FEEDING: An opportunity for Dad to get up at 2 a.m. too.
      CARPET: Expensive floor covering used to catch spills and clean mud off shoes.
      DATE: Infrequent outings with Dad where Mum can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.
      DRINKING GLASS: Any carton or bottle left open in the fridge.
      EAR: A place where kids store dirt.
      EAT: What kids do between meals, but not at them.
      FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to stop you falling into financial disaster.
      FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate strained carrots.
      GRANDPARENTS: People who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
      HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a rude word.
      IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labour is still vivid.
      INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
      PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.
      PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: A contradiction in terms.
      PUDDLE: A small boy of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.
      SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.
      STERILISE: What you do to your first baby's dummy by boiling it and to your last baby's dummy by blowing on it.
      TEMPER TANTRUMS: What you should keep to a minimum so as not to upset the children.
      THUNDERSTORM: A chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.
      TWO-MINUTE WARNING: When a baby's face turns red and he or she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
      WEAKER SEX: The kind you have after the kids have exhausted you.
      WHOOPS: Get a sponge!

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