Category: Men Jokes
Male Code of Conduct
1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally beaten and killed by his fellow partygoers.
3. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 per cent without recrimination.
4. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.
5. The maximum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is five minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait ten minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a friend's refrigerator is unacceptable. Only complaints about the temperature are permissible.
7. Before dating a friend's ex-girlfriend, you are required to ask him permission.
8. Women who claim they "love to watch sport" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and, more importantly, the ability to pick a chicken wing clean.
9. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man.
10. The universal compensation for friends who help you move home is beer.
11. It is permissible to consume a fruity cocktail only when you're sunning yourself on a tropical beach.
12. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
13. A man in the company of a provocatively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
14. If a buddy is already singing along to a son in the car, you must never join in.
15. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.
16. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem; you didn't see anything.